Best of Craigslist

Best of Craigslist http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best postings from craigslist.org, selected by readers en-us Copyright 2008, craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org webmaster@craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ Best of Craigslist Collection 2008-07-17T20:59:34-04:00 2 daily We live together http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/759387513.html I keep passing you on the way to the fridge. I'm sure you've noticed me - I think you're looking at me out the corner of your eye when I get in and out of the bed we share. I waved at you several times over the weekend as we were sitting down to meals. At breakfast this morning you ate the oatmeal I made, but didn't seem to notice my gesticulating. I know it's unlikely you'll see this, but if you do and something clicks, get back to me. <ul> <li> Location: my apt <li>it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-07-17T20:59:34-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/759387513.html We live together text To the cute microbiologist who's gonna examine my stool - w4m http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/682641364.html Hi. Well if you're reading this, you already know it's you. I walked into the lab today because of chronic diarrhea, and they called you specifically to take care of my case. You were so cute when you said I had abnormally huge taste buds. When you said you had to have another look at the back of my throat, it was obvious you just wanted to see their freaky fatness once more, and I called you on it. You then turned completely red, and I don't know if it was because of my grossly exaggerated yet founded accusations or because I wasn't wearing a bra and you left me waiting for like 45 minutes in an industrial AC powered office. You're gonna be growing five different cultures from my stool in the next week and I have no idea, despite all my funk and resourcefulness, how to make the idea of giving me a call after work seem inspiring. Between all these questions you're asking me, all of which are related to my loose bowel movements, and the fact that you could lose your license if you got together with a patient, there is just no way I can slip you my number. I don't really know what to do. I think I'm gonna try to run into you at the end of your internship at this hospital. I hear if it's not in an office, there is no law to prevent me hitting on you, and you taking it up. If you're not gay that is - cause you sort of give off that kind of vibe too. But if you're not, where is my highest chance of running into you completely by chance, one morning when I'm not your patient and you're not my hot, out-of-bounds microbiologist? <ul> <li> Location: Laval <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-05-16T01:39:07-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/682641364.html To the cute microbiologist who's gonna examine my stool - w4m text Looking for gamer guy! PST! http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/652240333.html Heeyyaa! I'm an independent 21 year-old Asian gamer chick that is currently looking for a fun and honest relationship with a cute guy! Pre-reqs include: World of Warcraft player Having at least 2 70's Having a personal PVP rating of at least 2000. Good and quirky sense of humour (interests in shows such as South Park and Family Guy help with that) Honesty Loyalty Intelligence Age: Between 22 and 26. I am currently working full-time and pay for all my own stuff, including my own place, car, etc. I will be attending university in the fall as a full-time student. My musical preference is metal although that isn't too much of an issue issue. If you think you have what it takes, send me a message with a picture attachment and a brief description of your characters! If I'm interested, I will message you back with a few of my pics. XD P.S. The WoW requirements are not a joke. Kthnxbai! <ul> <li> Location: Montreal <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-04-22T16:29:06-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/652240333.html Looking for gamer guy! PST! text the people at second cup are like so rude http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/645458908.html To that girl who works at the Second Cup: This has been eating me, it just really hurt my feelings and I need to get it off my chest okay? You were like, totally mean to me. I was talking to my bf alright? I like him better than you, I'd rather talk to him than you, so next time could you just wait for me to hang up? Really, the line behind me isn't that long. You didn't have to look so bitchy, I was almost done, I mean, I was holding up my finger, that usually means wait! But you just went on to that next guy, so, like, I hung up for nothing? Anyway when you finally got around to me it was like you didn't even want to take my order. I was nice, okay? I know what I want is complicated, so I said it real slow so understand. It's a grande vanilla latte with two and a half pumps of the SUGAR-FREE syrup. And skim milk. But I want it extra hot, okay? To like 182.5 degrees. And no foam, I don't like foam, it's too much like when I used to eat my bubble bath as a kid. And, you know, the least you could do is double cup it, you know? A latte that hot could hurt me, I have sensitive hands. Maybe you should, like, memorize this so that next time when I come in you recognize me and you know what I want right away. Yeah, whatever, you serve hundreds of people every day blah blah blah. I'm the orange spray tanned one with a purse I could fit a Doberman in. Oh and I'm usually wearing Uggs, they're just so comfy and stylish, you know? You should totally try to learn your customers' orders, it makes us happy. So anyway, when you finally got my order right I asked you for an apple baba, not so hard. My phone rang while you went to get a plate, it was really important so I took it. Anyway my bf was RIGHT in the middle of telling me how cute I am when you TOTALLY interrupted to take my money. Like, was I not obviously in the middle of something? You'd think you could take a hint, like, if you tell me my total and I don't answer you'd just wait like any polite person, but no, you like basically yelled it at me, it was so embarrassing. I wasn't about to hang up again, okay? You're not the only one that exists! So fine, I'll give you your stupid money, you're lucky I have exact change, even if I have to dig for it a bit in my enormous purse. I'm doing you a favor get over it. But, like, it's hard to count change and talk on the phone at the same time, you know? Really, if I wasn't on the phone I could count like a normal person, but give me a sec, I'm multitasking, the people behind me get it, we've all had to before. Tip? No, sorry, Daddy doesn't like me spending my allowance on things I don't need. Anyway, you and your friend who makes the drinks were really bitchy. I was just asking her to make sure it was sugar-free, alright? Geez, you'd think I insulted your moms or something. Have a nice day yourself. When I come back tomorrow to spend four hours on Facebook I'm totally not going to be as nice as I was today. <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: near school <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul> webmaster@craigslist.org 2008-04-17T05:05:28-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/645458908.html the people at second cup are like so rude text Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost) http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/504298183.html I picked up this Jar at my uncles estate sale. It's believed to contain a ghost! possibly of George Harrison. If you're in to ghosts and other super natural phenomenon, or are a Beatles fan, this is the item for you. <img src="504298183.jpg">   <ul class="blurbs"> <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-12-09T23:18:36-05:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/504298183.html Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost) text Gorgeous Couch - Pic in link http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/396849225.html I've been looking for a couch on here for the past few weeks, and let me tell you what I've learned so far: 1) It does NOT matter what you paid for it!!! First off, odds are, no one believes you anyways. Secondly, there's an EXCELLENT chance that what you paid for your furniture is just going to make me laugh because it is out of this world expensive for a couch you couldn't pay me to put in my living room. 2) Don't bother telling us that you think it's a gorgeous couch. If you didnt think it was a gorgeous couch, you probably wouldnt have bought it, and I really don't care how YOU think it looks, I care how I care it looks. 3) POST A PICTURE. See number 2. Giving a detailed description of colours, strip patterns, down to the mm measurements, and the dimensions of the butt indentation you've been working on for the last 3 and a half years does not compensate for a (well-lit) picture. If you don't have a digital camera, borrow one from someone you know. And trust me, you know someone who has a camera and can help you. Once you get the camera, post multiple angles of the couch. here's an idea, CL lets you post 4 pictures. there are 4 sides to most couches. Unless there is damage, pictures of the back usually arent necessary so post different angles of the important parts. 4) In your post, give me some idea of the couch's condition. If it's damaged, let me know. If you don't, I get pissed off when I drive out to wherever you are to take a closer look at the "like-new" couch you have for sale, only to discover that the cat you own has claws the size of a grizzly and has whittled the side of the couch not visible in the picture you posted down to a duct-tape covered toothpick. Even better, post a picture of any wear and tear. 5) Look at the Craigslist classified section before posting your add!!! There are over 100 posts a day for furniture, usually over 200 for weekend days. With that many options available, the basic laws of supply and demand dictate that your couch (remembering point number 1) is not worth as much as you think it is. Sorry. Remember the basic rule of garage sales: The idea is to make space, not money. 6) If you are not able to sell your couch, do not bother posting it again and again several times a day in the hopes that your $800, 30 year old fake pleather ugly monstrosity will eventually be EXACTLY what someone is looking for, it's not. 6)b) do NOT, under any circumstances, repost your add with an INCREASED price. If someone is searching CL for a couch, they're not taking the first one they see unless they are luckier than me and found what they were after on the first shot. That being said, I've seen your add everyday, your asking price was high to begin with, raising it doesnt make your couch more appealing. If you can't sell your couch, try lowering your asking price. Whew glad thats off my chest. NOW, who wants to buy my couch? Its a GROGEOUS sectional purchased 27 years ago and has been well used by my parents and their 2 boys who used to make forts out of it and jump up and down on it while watching cartoons. I dont have a camera right now but I can assure you that you will LOVE the 70s style brown fabric, with circulation facilitators, (tears) where people sit the most. Its so gorgeous that you wont even notice that I once put my foot through the corner piece while chasing my dog around the room. It has been used by non-smoking, non-pet owners for the past 39 days making it ideal for anyone. My parents paid $7,000 for this couch 27 years ago. With inflation, thats got to be about $20,000 today. Remembering that, Im willing to part with what has become my sex couch for the bargain basement price of $2,000, a full 90% off the purchase price when you consider inflation!!!!!!!! I am of course a very understanding seller. There are 4 sections to the couch and I will let you pick them up 1 at a time as long as you pay for them all up front and leave me with an extra $250 for the trouble. Thanks for reading my add, I look forward to the bidding war that is now inevitable Im sure. If I dont get my asking price, Ill target the richer people looking for second hand sectionals on CL and will repost for $4,000 tomorrow.  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> This item has been posted by-owner. <li> Location: Montreal <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-08-14T13:10:48-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/396849225.html Gorgeous Couch - Pic in link text to the girl on the metro with the cleavage - m4w http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/390332730.html when you got up in the morning and got dressed, you chose to wear an outfit that partly reveals your boobs. you have a mirror. you knew. i didn't force you to wear it. in fact, when you bought this item, you knew that you were going to wear it, in public, and it would be revealing your tits a little (or a lot). make no mistake, i applaud you for this. but what i'm getting at, is that we both know you were showing off your rack. don't lie, it's not very subtle. and don't pretend it's a fashion thing. it's a hooter thing. so when you buy the top, and wear it, in the summer, in public, and you're going to stand in front of me, guess what. I'm going to look at your boobs. first off, you should be flattered. i looked at them because they are nice. you should be upset if you were showing off your knockers and i didn't look at them. actually, them being nice is why i looked at them repeatedly. the first peek was more of an instinct. guy-instinct. we can't help it. after that, we just want to see as much of it as we can. to us, boobs are like the Godfather parts I and II. we can watch them over and over and never get tired of them. anyway, yea, i looked at your cans. a bunch of times, actually. now, i understand no one likes to be stared at. this is why i did in fact look around the rest of the metro to see if there was anything else interesting to look at. unfortunately there were no other hot babes, no bums, no cute babies, no one was wearing a Slayer reign in blood tour shirt. nothing. so i went back to your melons. sorry. it was a boring ride, and they were right in front of me. but i think you forget that i was nice enough to focus on your funbags, as opposed to alternating between them and trying to make eyecontact. now that would have been ungentlemen-like. i realise no one finds true love over a pair of jugs on the orange line. it's just not realistic. so i kept my head down, stood in a position as to be not overly obvious about my staring, made sure i didn't get a semi (i got real close once, but i handled it), and tried to be as polite about the situation as possible. so anyway, i just thought you should know my point of view on what happened. i am not a pervert. i was just a man on a metro. a man who saw something that pulled his mind out of the daily routine, and i held onto it dearly (not literally, ofcourse, though that would have been pretty sick). but as you can tell from this long posting, i do feel slightly bad about my behaviour. so to make up for it, i have decided, with pain in my heart, to release you from my spank bank. i think it is fair to say we are even now. i think i did see a hint of slight animal lust in your eyes when you gave me that annoyed look and got out of the metro. so if you are reading this, baby, i'd really like to take you on a trip... a motorboating trip.  <ul class="blurbs"> <li> Location: mtl <li> it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</ul>  webmaster@craigslist.org 2007-08-06T04:28:55-04:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/390332730.html to the girl on the metro with the cleavage - m4w text Your overpriced items insult Craigslist MTL user intelligence http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/136552797.html So, you're using a FREE community service to sell high-priced items? Shame on you, especially in terms of the profit you think you're going to make. Go buy an ad in the Gazette, Suburban, Examiner, etc., or if you want a profit, get off your lazy behinds and sell on eBay. That's your clientele -- not Craigslist community members. This is a virtual garage sale -- adjust your prices downward accordingly -- or don't post. Nobody is buying your overpriced items, and you're polluting the neighbourhood. <img src=136552797.jpg> webmaster@craigslist.org 2006-02-24T00:32:47-05:00 Copyright 2008, craigslist.org http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mon/136552797.html Your overpriced items insult Craigslist MTL user intelligence text